A little honesty anybody?
I just want to take this time to apologize. I’m not doing this because I’m in a down mood or anything, I just had a feeling that I needed to. Maybe get a couple things off my chest.
I want to say sorry for the times that I’ve acted harshly without really having a good reason to. You see, I tend to over analyze things or situations, which then leads me to acting in certain ways. I’m trying to get over this hurtle, and I know that it’s not an overnight thing, it’s a process - like many things. I’m just scared that I’ve either scared people away, or hurt them. I’m sorry if I have.
But on the flip side of this, I also have a difficult time, as always, with really saying what’s on my mind because I’m either afraid to get hurt or hurt the other person. Really, it’s like this back and forth conversation in my mind that goes something like this:
So I really want to say this: blah blah blah blah
What I end up saying is a slight variation that is part true and part keeping in most of what I really want to say
And that’s for any situation really. (if i say this, will they get hurt by it? if i say this, will they mock me and hurt me? if i say this….and it goes on and on and on)
My friend told me that I need to grow a backbone…maybe I do. But what’s wrong with just not wanting drama in my life, even if I don’t get many responses. I would much rather have a drama free life - dismiss or not deal with the present drama and move on. Or I’d much rather hear the honest truth (yes even if it may hurt me) than be left dangling. Cause honestly, that’s one of the worst feelings ever - not knowing. Ugh. It’s not because I’m not patient - I think I’m a pretty patient person, but if something needs to be said to me, either don’t hint at it until you want to say it, or say it right away.
Am I being too harsh there? Again I apologize. Maybe that’s my sass speaking.
